Things I'll Never Say
by Loveseat-chan
Summary: Lovino could never say how he felt to anyone. Especially the one he loves. Bad summery but hopefully good story. Spamano songfic for "Things I'll Never Say" by Avril Lavigne


Things I'll Never Say songfic

_I'm tugging at my hair  
>I'm pulling at my clothes<br>I'm trying to keep my cool  
>I know it shows<br>I'm staring at my feet  
>My cheeks are turning red<br>I'm searching for the words inside my head_

Lovino Vargas was in love. He hated to admit it but it was true. Today was going to be the day he confessed to his best friend Antonio Fernandez-Carriedo.

Yes, he was in love with his best friend, and he was terrified to confess. He was getting ready to go but nothing looked right on him even though he was putting on his favorite clothes. And no matter what he did his hair wouldn't do what he wanted it to.

He took a few calming breaths and looked at his reflection. He stared at himself for a second before looking down again and blushing.

"Fucking man up already. It's not that fucking hard to talk to that tomato bastard." He took another deep breath and looked up at the mirror. "Antonio! I-" was as far as he got before he squatted on the floor hiding his face in his hands. "Why is this so fucking hard?"

_Cause I'm feeling nervous  
>Trying to be so perfect<br>Cause I know you're worth it  
>You're worth it<br>Yeah  
><em>

He knew that Antonio was perfect in every way possible, he was smart, funny, nice to everyone, and he was the only person that made him happy and feel loved since his brother, Feliciano, had started dating that potato bastard Ludwig. Lovino on the other hand had a very bad temper, swore every other word, wasn't the smartest person ever, and was mean to everyone, even the one he loved.

No matter what way he looked at it they didn't go together at all. He wasn't even sure if Antonio

liked him more than a friend or not. All he could do was hope and wish that he did because Antonio was worth it.

_If I could say what I want to say  
>I'd say I wanna blow you... away<br>Be with you every night  
>Am I squeezing you too tight<br>If I could say what I want to see  
>I want to see you go down<br>On one knee  
>Marry me today<br>Guess, I'm wishing my life away  
>With these things I'll never say<em>

Lovino wished he could be more like his brother and just say what he was thinking but how was he supposed to say that he wanted to blow him away and be with him every night? How was he supposed to say that he wanted to marry him? As crazy as that sounds.

How was he supposed to say that?

_It don't do me any good  
>It's just a waste of time<br>What use is it to you  
>What's on my mind<br>If it ain't coming out  
>We're not going anywhere<br>So why can't I just tell you that I care_

They had made plans to meet that day and when Lovino finally got there about half-an-hour late he expected Antonio to be gone already. But, no, he was right were they had planned to meet. He looked as happy as always but Lovino could tell that he was starting to get worried.

Antonio glanced at his cell phone before looking around and spotting him. As soon as he saw him he jumped up and glomped him, almost causing him to fall over.

"Lovi!~ You're finally here! I was so worried~"

"Get off me bastard! People are staring!"

It was true that people were staring but he didn't really mind. Mostly the fact that all the people that were staring were girls that were all looking at Antonio's ass was what bothered him. He was too shy to show his affection in public(or anywhere else for that matter) so he flipped them all off behind Antonio's back.

"But Lovi~ I missed you~"

"I don't fucking care! Let go!"

Antonio reluctantly let go, looking like he was going to cry.

Lovino looked away and mumbled, "You don't have to cry bastard..." He glanced up to see that Antonio still looked ready to cry and sighed. He held out his arms getting ready for a hug. "Fine! You can hug me bast-"

He didn't get a chance to finish before Antonio tackled him with hug. "You're so cute Lovi~"

"Get off me!" He was blushing, laying on the ground with Antonio over him.

_Cause I'm feeling nervous  
>Trying to be so perfect<br>Cause I know you're worth it  
>You're worth it<br>Yeah  
><em>

'Just say it already!' Lovino screamed at himself in his head.

_If I could say what I want to say  
>I'd say I wanna blow you... away<br>Be with you every night  
>Am I squeezing you too tight<br>If I could say what I want to see  
>I want to see you go down<br>On one knee  
>Marry me today<br>Guess, I'm wishing my life away  
>With these things I'll never say<em>

'Just say that you love him and all of this will be over! Say that you want to be with him every night and that if we start dating then he will feel the same way!'

Lovino looked up into Antonio's bright green eyes and took a deep breath.

_What's wrong with my tongue  
>These words keep slipping away<br>I stutter, I stumble  
>Like I've got nothing to say<em>

Lovino tried as best he could to say those three simple words but all that came out was a jumble of words that made no sense.

Antonio had a sweet smile on his face but Lovino wasn't paying attention to that. It wasn't until Antonio chuckled that Lovino finally stopped talking. "Your so cute Lovi." Antonio muttered before leaning in and kissing him.

_Cause I'm feeling nervous  
>Trying to be so perfect<br>Cause I know you're worth it  
>You're worth it<br>Yeah_

He froze, not sure how to react to the sudden kiss. Once it finally hit him that they were kissing, like he had always dreamed("I don't fucking dream about that!"), he closed his eyes and leaned into it.

This was his first kiss and he didn't know exactly what to do, he tried to copy what Antonio did but soon he was out of breath and broke away, gasping for air.

"I love you Lovino Vargas."

_Guess I'm wishing my life away with these things I'll never say  
>If I could say what I want to say<br>I'd say I wanna blow you...away  
>Be with you every night<br>Am I squeezing you too tight  
>If I could say what I want to see<br>I want to see you go down  
>On one knee<br>Marry me today  
>Guess, I'm wishing my life away<br>With these things I'll never say  
>These things I'll never say<em>

He couldn't say it back. He did love him, more than anything, but he couldn't get the words out. It was hard for him to even look Antonio in the eye, so he looked away and noticed all the people with their phones out taking pictures of them.

His face somehow turned redder than it already was(let's just say his face resembled a tomato) and he pushed Antonio off him, covering his mouth with his arm.

Lovino still wanted to say all those romantic things he had thought but right now didn't seem like the right time. He was mad, _really _mad, at Antonio for kissing him before he was ready, and out in public too. He wanted their first kiss to be more romantic and in private!

So he did the first thing that came to his mind. He got up and punched Antonio in the face. "What the hell is wrong with you, bastard? You can't just kiss me!"

"But I thought you liked it..."

"That's not the point! That was my first kiss! I wasn't fucking ready bastard!"

"So you did like it?"

Somehow he got even redder. "I never said that!"

Antonio came over and kissed him again, only a quick one this time. "At least you know how I feel now. You can take your time telling me." He said with a sweet little smile.

Before he could think about it Lovino grabbed the front of Antonio's shirt. "I don't need any more fucking time! I love you! I always have!" With that said he pulled him into a passionate kiss with the crowd around them clapping and 'aww'ing at the cuteness and, in some cases, disappointment.

~End~

* * *

><p><strong>Yes I know I should be working on Chaos At Day Break but I've been in the mood to write songfics lately. I am still writing my story but here is something to hold you over until I can update. Witch will still be a while because I'm going to be in Austria for a week and then I've got to keep my grades up so I can graduate. Anyway hope you enjoyed the songfic and please review so I can hopefully get better at writing.<strong>


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